Merry Christmas (a few days late...)

Our 2011 Christmas Tree

Undecorating for Christmas

I'm not sure "undecorate" is a word. My computer doesn't think it is. But that is what I'm fixing to do. And it feels sad to put the beloved ornaments, bells, candles and nativity scenes away for another year.

One of the best parts of the Christmas season is the looking forward with anticipation to something. The kids make chains and remove a link each day as Christmas approaches. Our wall slowly fills with Christmas cards from people we love. We the Christmas narrative over and over. There is so much forward looking. Then Christmas is over and the forward looking ceases.

But we have something even better to look forward to than celebrating Jesus' first coming. Jesus is coming back! For two millennium that is what the Christians have longed for and looked for. I get so focused on the here and now: the dishes, diapers, dirt. I forget about the glorious future and the Second Coming of Jesus.

This life is often full of pain and failure and disappointment but in Christ we have a perfect future coming. I can put all this beauty away until next year's advent season and still live with such anticipation. Jesus said, "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also." John 14:1-2

Jesus is coming again! Jesus is coming again! I can live continually with that joyful anticipation.

Preparing for Death

Obviously I don't write on here much. But I do write. One of the things I write yearly are letters to my kids on their birthdays. I tell them what I love about them, recent funny stories and describe their current interests. But most importantly I tell them what I'm learning about the Lord. I write out the Gospel and anything I would want them to know if I didn't get the privilege of watching them grow up.

I hope I am there when they become adults, get married and have children but there is no promise of that. The only thing that is promised me is that I will die someday. Period. I'm not promised happiness or health or wealth, but I will die (Unless Jesus returns first!! Oh do come Lord Jesus!) and so I have decided to be ready for death. I have letters written to many of the people I love. I haven't had some premonition of an early death or anything goofy like that. And genetically speaking I'll likely live a long time yet. I'm just preparing for my promised homegoing.

And so I write letters to my kids that they may know the glorious riches of life and salvation in Christ. So they may know that while they were still rebellious sinners Christ died for them. So they may know that He Who knew no sin became sin for them so they might become the Righteousness of God. And so they will know regardless of whether I am here with them or not that I loved them.

Malachi

We were at the dentist office. Waiting. My life was pretty simple at the moment because Silas and Zion, the busy, mess-makers, were at home with Daddy. I was reading a book while Eden and Malachi sat on the floor playing with a couple boys. I wasn't paying much attention to their play when all of a sudden their conversation intruded into my book. Malachi, my bold, sometimes fierce, sometimes overwhelming 4-year-old, was proclaiming, "Jesus is even higher up than outerspace! He died on the cross for your sins and now he is alive and in heaven which is higher than the space shuttles can go!"

Just then the dental hygienist called our name and we left two curious boys looking on while we headed to the room. Oh that I could have the boldness of Malachi! Thank you, my precious son, for this testimony. Oh Father, please grant him that boldness all the days of his life.

Current Pictures of the Gang

Zion finally decided to walk at 15 months and is oh so proud of himself.
This is such a great picture of Silas because he is almost always smiling and almost always naked.
Malachi and Eden submitted picture in the local fair. Here he is so excited to see his TV on the wall.
I chopped my hair short again about 6 weeks ago so this time Eden wanted hers short too. Her's her new bob.

Seeking the Missing

So I lost something. To make matters worse, Moses needed it. As I frantically ransacked the house my prayer life went something like this, "Lord, I have been trying so hard to get organized. Truly organized. You know this doesn't come naturally for me. But I was making headway, so I thought. I have REALLY been trying because I know order honors you. You know where this is, PLEASE help me." What I wasn't so boldly saying, yet was thinking (*cringe*- here you'll see my sinful heart) "Come on, I have been working hard, spending myself for you. Can't you just come through for me with this? Make it show up? What's a girl got to do? Do I really have to waste my precious time on this?" Now you know I didn't really put it into words like that, but my heart was indeed murmuring.

Moses came in and prayed with me. Not so much that we would find the missing something, but that I would honor the Lord in the search. I was anxious about it. (There is another sin.) And being irritable with my children (I believe the biblical word for that sin is selfishness or perhaps anger). And then after praying with Moses, I realized this had nothing to do with finding the missing item and everything to do with my sanctification. Did I trust His goodness or not? I claim to trust Him with big things like my family's safety, my children's ultimate salvation, the finances we need, etc, but if I couldn't trust His good heart in something this small did I really trust Him at all. I began to really pay attention to and CONTROL my self-talk. Determined to only let truthful thoughts make it past the guard. My new thinking went something like this, "Joy, the Lord knows where this is and if you truly need it, it will show up in His timing. He is good and this is for your good and His Glory. In the meantime, your babies are watching to see if you are going to put your faith and words into actions." I asked my kiddos for forgiveness and began to treat them as I should. Then when time allowed I began to search thoroughly again (I say "when time allowed" because I had been neglecting other things to search). I chose a favorite, Christ-exalting hymn to sing and pretty soon was cleaning away, going through drawers that had been ignored for ages.

All of a sudden I realized that even though I hadn't found it. I was no longer worried and had actually enjoyed clearing out all that clutter I hadn't otherwise made time to go through yet. As that thought crossed my mind I found the Missing. I praised my Savior for helping me find it (for Moses needed it after all) but more so I praised Him for the work He did in me. I praised Him for the opportunity to recognize in the midst of it (rather than afterwards) the fact that I was failing a test (albeit a small one) and I praised Him for helping me turn it around. I know to call this a "trial" in the light of what so many people I know are going through would be ridiculous, and yet I know that these "little tests" matter too for they are the training ground for "big tests". You react as you train. Today was a training opportunity for me. Now I have 2 clean drawers too. Bonus.

Unanswered Prayer

I was alone in Costco with all 4 kids, which I realize is an oxymoron. I mean I was the ONLY adult with all 4 kids and Eden announced she needed to go to the bathroom badly. My cart was full and I wasn't about to leave it so I told her she'd have to hold it. She said she REALLY needed to go. I said, "Let's pray about it and ask the Lord to send someone along who we know who can help us. They can stay with the cart and babies and I'll take you to the bathroom." We prayed and Eden began scanning every isle we entered looking for the person God would send. Her faith never wavered for a moment. She was fully confident He would send us someone.

(Now a bit of background: This is a prayer I have prayed many times through the years when I have found myself in need and almost ALWAYS someone is there immediately to help.) Today no one came. I was really beginning to feel anxious and my conversation with the Lord was going something like this, "Father, wouldn't this be a great opportunity to strengthened a little girl's faith? She'd really praise you and gush about it to Daddy and all her friends. Can't you do this for us? What's she going to think about the reality of prayer if You don't send some one?" Nothing. No one. I was preparing myself for how to address what appeared to be an "unanswered prayer." I started to explain how sometimes God says, "No" or "Wait."

Eden said, "I know Mommy. It's okay. Today He told me to wait and then He made me able to hold it. I know He could have sent someone, but He knew I could hold it." Her faith was still fully intact. I realized how fearful I'd been that one "unanswered prayer" would shatter her fragile, juvenile, beautiful faith. I was the one who the "no" was for and whose faith needed strengthened.

Thank You, Precious Father, for answering our Costco prayer with a "No."

My Undoing

Don't get your hopes up. I'm not back. I have huge aspirations to make this blog happen someday, but not right now. Baby #4, Zion Ryle, born May 12th, 2009 was my undoing when it comes to blogging. He is the sweetest and our family is now complete, but something had to give and so my blog did. Someday when all my babies are out of diapers and can complete the bedtime routine without me I may be ready to blog again. Until then... may your grow in faith in our Victorious, Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

The Bike Ride

This is our precious church.

Home Sweet Home

We live in Lancaster, CA. It's an hour north of L.A.  We live 7 miles outside of town on the property of our church.  We're surrounded by alfalfa fields.   
This is the view looking East.  (Moses on the bike with one of the kids.)
This is the view looking South.
This is the view looking West.  The church is actually just west of our house but I walked North a bit.
A sunset from the front of our church.