Malachi

We were at the dentist office. Waiting. My life was pretty simple at the moment because Silas and Zion, the busy, mess-makers, were at home with Daddy. I was reading a book while Eden and Malachi sat on the floor playing with a couple boys. I wasn't paying much attention to their play when all of a sudden their conversation intruded into my book. Malachi, my bold, sometimes fierce, sometimes overwhelming 4-year-old, was proclaiming, "Jesus is even higher up than outerspace! He died on the cross for your sins and now he is alive and in heaven which is higher than the space shuttles can go!"

Just then the dental hygienist called our name and we left two curious boys looking on while we headed to the room. Oh that I could have the boldness of Malachi! Thank you, my precious son, for this testimony. Oh Father, please grant him that boldness all the days of his life.

Current Pictures of the Gang

Zion finally decided to walk at 15 months and is oh so proud of himself.
This is such a great picture of Silas because he is almost always smiling and almost always naked.
Malachi and Eden submitted picture in the local fair. Here he is so excited to see his TV on the wall.
I chopped my hair short again about 6 weeks ago so this time Eden wanted hers short too. Her's her new bob.

Seeking the Missing

So I lost something. To make matters worse, Moses needed it. As I frantically ransacked the house my prayer life went something like this, "Lord, I have been trying so hard to get organized. Truly organized. You know this doesn't come naturally for me. But I was making headway, so I thought. I have REALLY been trying because I know order honors you. You know where this is, PLEASE help me." What I wasn't so boldly saying, yet was thinking (*cringe*- here you'll see my sinful heart) "Come on, I have been working hard, spending myself for you. Can't you just come through for me with this? Make it show up? What's a girl got to do? Do I really have to waste my precious time on this?" Now you know I didn't really put it into words like that, but my heart was indeed murmuring.

Moses came in and prayed with me. Not so much that we would find the missing something, but that I would honor the Lord in the search. I was anxious about it. (There is another sin.) And being irritable with my children (I believe the biblical word for that sin is selfishness or perhaps anger). And then after praying with Moses, I realized this had nothing to do with finding the missing item and everything to do with my sanctification. Did I trust His goodness or not? I claim to trust Him with big things like my family's safety, my children's ultimate salvation, the finances we need, etc, but if I couldn't trust His good heart in something this small did I really trust Him at all. I began to really pay attention to and CONTROL my self-talk. Determined to only let truthful thoughts make it past the guard. My new thinking went something like this, "Joy, the Lord knows where this is and if you truly need it, it will show up in His timing. He is good and this is for your good and His Glory. In the meantime, your babies are watching to see if you are going to put your faith and words into actions." I asked my kiddos for forgiveness and began to treat them as I should. Then when time allowed I began to search thoroughly again (I say "when time allowed" because I had been neglecting other things to search). I chose a favorite, Christ-exalting hymn to sing and pretty soon was cleaning away, going through drawers that had been ignored for ages.

All of a sudden I realized that even though I hadn't found it. I was no longer worried and had actually enjoyed clearing out all that clutter I hadn't otherwise made time to go through yet. As that thought crossed my mind I found the Missing. I praised my Savior for helping me find it (for Moses needed it after all) but more so I praised Him for the work He did in me. I praised Him for the opportunity to recognize in the midst of it (rather than afterwards) the fact that I was failing a test (albeit a small one) and I praised Him for helping me turn it around. I know to call this a "trial" in the light of what so many people I know are going through would be ridiculous, and yet I know that these "little tests" matter too for they are the training ground for "big tests". You react as you train. Today was a training opportunity for me. Now I have 2 clean drawers too. Bonus.

Unanswered Prayer

I was alone in Costco with all 4 kids, which I realize is an oxymoron. I mean I was the ONLY adult with all 4 kids and Eden announced she needed to go to the bathroom badly. My cart was full and I wasn't about to leave it so I told her she'd have to hold it. She said she REALLY needed to go. I said, "Let's pray about it and ask the Lord to send someone along who we know who can help us. They can stay with the cart and babies and I'll take you to the bathroom." We prayed and Eden began scanning every isle we entered looking for the person God would send. Her faith never wavered for a moment. She was fully confident He would send us someone.

(Now a bit of background: This is a prayer I have prayed many times through the years when I have found myself in need and almost ALWAYS someone is there immediately to help.) Today no one came. I was really beginning to feel anxious and my conversation with the Lord was going something like this, "Father, wouldn't this be a great opportunity to strengthened a little girl's faith? She'd really praise you and gush about it to Daddy and all her friends. Can't you do this for us? What's she going to think about the reality of prayer if You don't send some one?" Nothing. No one. I was preparing myself for how to address what appeared to be an "unanswered prayer." I started to explain how sometimes God says, "No" or "Wait."

Eden said, "I know Mommy. It's okay. Today He told me to wait and then He made me able to hold it. I know He could have sent someone, but He knew I could hold it." Her faith was still fully intact. I realized how fearful I'd been that one "unanswered prayer" would shatter her fragile, juvenile, beautiful faith. I was the one who the "no" was for and whose faith needed strengthened.

Thank You, Precious Father, for answering our Costco prayer with a "No."